By Bridget Lawyer
My husband and I began the discussion about adoption very early in our marriage. Both of us were youth leaders at New Hope Christian Church in Washington, Indiana, and there was a couple in our church who fostered children and had also adopted. We were inspired by the impact we could see this couple was having on the children in their lives, and the love they had for the children. We would have loved to have adopted one of the children they were fostering, but the foster care system really wanted a biracial couple. I’m not sure why we didn’t pursue adoption any further at that time. Over the next 20 years we had three children and had still just always talked about adopting through the foster care system. I sometimes wonder how many blessings we missed out on because we talked about it for so many years without acting on it.
In 2013 we had a wonderful small Bible study group and we were doing the David Platt Bible study Radical — a book we highly recommend! During one of the group’s meetings, one of the members asked, “What is something you’ve always felt God calling you to do, but you just haven’t taken steps to do it?” Clint replied, “Adopt through the foster care system.” We were encouraged to start taking steps in that direction and from that day forward, the Bible study group prayed for us, even though they had no idea how we were all going to be used by God in the months ahead. When we discussed adoption with our three children, they were excited and fully on board.
We started classes and went every time we could find a class being offered. I believe we were certified foster parents in about six months. Our house was approved for three children, but we were thinking of starting smaller with a sibling group of two. Although we thought we would receive a placement right away, we didn’t hear from anyone for several months. Finally, my husband received a call from an agent asking if we would consider a sibling group of four children ages 1, 5, 6, and 8. We all agreed, including our kids. We called our parents and my husband’s sister; knowing we were going to need help. Everyone was on board! At this point we felt totally confident that God had a plan and was working everything out.
Both sides of our family had planned a trip to Branson for Christmas that year, and we were scheduled to leave on December 21. The kids moved in on December 14. Our community came through with overwhelming support. Friends brought beds, clothes, and lots of Christmas gifts for the kids. The first few days were crazy; tantrums like we had never witnessed and smiles that were unforgettable. We packed the 12-passenger van to the brim and took off for Branson to celebrate Christmas.
After only a few days in Branson, I was admitted to the hospital with appendicitis. I had my appendix removed on December 23rd. Because of complications, I had to remain in the hospital for a little over two weeks. Again, we saw God move powerfully. My mom stayed with me in the hospital while the rest of the family went home so my husband Clint could return to work. Each morning, Clint and the older kids had a routine to help the younger kids get ready for school. Clint’s mom came every morning to watch Ashton and Tyler and stayed long hours to help after school. Dear friends brought the kids home from school every day. The older kids and Suzanne helped the younger kids with homework and evening routines.
Our community was wonderful and brought meals over every night. I ended up with a huge opening in my stomach and had a wound vac put in. Even when I was finally allowed to come home, I wasn’t allowed to get up. My mom became my nurse doing all of the medical stuff that needed to be done, and Clint’s family continued to come and help every day. Our friends brought the kids home for the remainder of the semester because the doctor wanted me off my feet for an entire semester. There were a few people who continued to question us, asking if we were going to tell the kids’ case worker that we just couldn’t do it. “After all, they would have to understand!” they said. To be honest, I don’t think anyone in our house ever considered that an option.
The days were hard, the children’s tantrums were big (sometimes over an hour long and up to ten times a day), but watching God working this out was amazing! Our Bible study group, family, close friends, and our community prayed hard for us and filled in so many gaps. The Department of Child Services told us one of the children needed to be in school, but we knew he wasn’t ready. One friend stepped up to tutor him. This was a huge blessing. As the kids began to realize how much they were loved at our house and in the community, things began to get better.
We were finally able to adopt on September 19, 2016. We still have a few rough patches, but the children fit right into our family. God has worked in each of us. Had we not followed his lead, we would have missed out on so many blessings! As excited as we are that they are part of our family, I do have to say this was not God’s first choice for these kids. His first choice was a loving home with their biological parents. I know their mother loved them and we are so glad she chose to give birth to them as opposed to having an abortion.
Our charge for you is to find those women who made the choice of life, but who quickly became overwhelmed with no support. For our children’s sake I wish someone had come alongside their mother and introduced her to Jesus and helped her make better choices. We pray for her and pray she is able to see God work amazing wonders in her life and feel His love.
